


Love Angle

by Amethystina



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: (this is Chuck we're talking about), Alternate Universe - No Kaiju, Because I hate to disappoint, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Modern Setting, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Seriously guys, Some Swearing, Yancy Lives, so much pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-13
Updated: 2014-12-13
Packaged: 2018-03-01 07:55:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2765528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amethystina/pseuds/Amethystina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chuck honestly had no idea how easy it is to fall in love with one of your neighbours until it's already happening. Raleigh from flat 314 is far too kind, far too genuine, and far too attractive for his own good, and Chuck can't help being drawn to him. He can't help falling in love.</p><p>Which doesn't seem like that big of a deal, until Raleigh's girlfriend makes an appearance. Then it becomes a whole different story and Chuck pretends that it doesn't break his heart, one tiny sliver at a time, to watch Raleigh and Mako be happy together. But really, he's not fooling anyone. Chuck's life officially sucks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Angle

**Author's Note:**

> I have been dying to return to this fandom — I miss the characters something terrible — so here's a fairly lengthy one shot for you, full of pining, angst, fluff, and lots of adorableness! Quite different from my other Chaleigh fics (considering how frequently they make people cry), but hopefully no less enjoyable!
> 
> This story is based on an awesome writing prompt by [Daggerstiletto](http://daggerstiletto.tumblr.com/), which you can find [HERE](http://daggerstiletto.tumblr.com/post/97277461141/writing-prompt-1). I loved it at first glance and since it was so unspecified, well, I couldn't help myself.
> 
> The art is made by me and can be found [HERE](http://lienwyn.tumblr.com/post/105102932621/illustrations-for-the-chaleigh-one-shot-love-angle).  
> Enjoy, my lovelies!

 

The first time Chuck met the guy living in flat 314 he almost punched the bloke in the face. As far as introductions went, it was perhaps a bit lacking. But they were clearly off to a brilliant start.

For once Chuck wasn't actively _trying_ to be unfriendly, but what was he supposed to do when someone he didn't recognise sneaked in behind him when he stepped through the front door? There was a reason why only those with a key were allowed inside the building, and it could be a burglar for all Chuck knew.

So he felt well within his right to whirl around, grab the collar of the man's jacket, and push him up against the nearest wall, the heavy door closing behind them with a dull, metallic clunk. Chuck caught a glimpse of wide, blue eyes when he pulled back his other arm, aiming a blow that could no doubt knock out a couple of teeth if needed.

"Holy shit—"

"Who the _fuck_ are you?" Chuck barked, not completing the movement just yet, but he was ready to at a moment's notice.

"I live here!" the guy exclaimed, looking insulted rather than afraid, which said a thing or two about his mental capacity.

"What?" Chuck frowned.

The second after he had asked the question the bloke's words registered and Chuck hesitated. He had only been living in the building for three months himself and he hadn't seen all the other tenants yet. It could be true.

"Yeah, apartment 314. My name is on the post box and everything." The bloke pointed towards the rows of metal boxes affixed to the opposite wall. "Raleigh Becket."

Chuck blinked stupidly before looking over his shoulder. The burn of embarrassment he felt when he saw the neatly typed R. Becket on the post box labelled 314 was undoubtedly well deserved, but that didn't make it any easier to swallow. Manhandling the neighbours was definitely a new low, even for him.

Not that Chuck would ever let that show.

He made sure to frown as he let the go of Becket's collar, and took two steps back.

"Don't sneak up on me," he snapped angrily, hiding his awkwardness behind hostility.

"Yeah, I kinda noticed that," Becket replied dryly while he straightened, correcting his jacket with a casual tug. "I was just trying to get inside without having to pull out my own keys — not mug you. But your response time is commendable."

Chuck pursed his lips before turning on his heel and marching towards the lift, without as much as a word. He saw no reason to reply, since the conversation would only prolong the distinct stir of embarrassment he felt, no matter if it showed outward or not.

To his great dismay he could hear Becket's footsteps echo behind him, and they weren't heading for the staircase. Chuck pressed the call button with slightly more force than necessary and gritted his teeth when Becket stepped up beside him, obviously waiting for the lift as well.

"So you're new in the building?" Becket asked, as if he hadn't just been pinned to the wall with Chuck's fist prepared to permanently rearrange his face.

Chuck gave a curt nod, refusing to answer verbally. Why the hell did it seem like Becket was trying to do small talk? He had to be out of his bloody mind. Or maybe Becket's head had hit the wall harder than Chuck had first thought?

"I work a lot of night shifts, so that's probably why you haven't seen me around."

Fuck, he really _was_ doing small talk. Chuck refrained from giving the bloke a disgusted glare, if only barely, focusing instead on stepping into the lift once it arrived with a cheerful ping that grated terribly on Chuck's nerves. Becket was just a second behind and Chuck could feel their shoulders brush.

He held back a shiver, even if there were several layers of clothes between them.

"Which floor?" Becket asked politely, after having pressed the button marked with a black number three.

"Fifth," Chuck gritted out through clenched teeth.

"Oh, you're Hansen then?" Raleigh asked, pushing number five as well.

There was an ugly strip of masking tape attached to post box 506 on which Chuck had hastily scribbled his last name, as a temporary solution until the landlord got him a real sign. After three months he wasn't sure if it would ever happen, and it didn't surprise him that Becket had taken note of it and was able to guess who Chuck was on that alone. As far as Chuck knew, he was the only new tenant to have arrived within the last year.

Chuck didn't reply, trying instead to will the lift to go faster. It wasn't that he actually disliked Becket's company, but he still felt rather mortified about how he had overreacted — and it only grated on his nerves that Becket seemed to have forgiven it so quickly.

 

 

"You're not very neighbourly, are you?"

That made Chuck scoff, despite how he tried to hold it back.

"No, not very," he replied, glancing in Becket's direction.

Becket was smiling crookedly, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket and head tilted slightly to the side. There was something disarmingly adorable about his wind ruffled hair and expressive eyes, as if he was some kind of poster boy for the perfect blond, blue-eyed American stereotype.

It suddenly struck Chuck that Becket was excessively and inarguably attractive.

Well. _Shit_.

That was not the kind of epiphany you were supposed to have about the neighbour you had just been busy pinning to a wall. In a literal and not so sexy way.

"You don't happen to have a first name, do you?" Becket asked, just as the lift came to a slow stop at the third floor.

Chuck blinked twice, the doors sliding open without him really paying attention. Why the fuck would Becket want to know that?

"None of your fucking business," he blurted out, mostly as a defence mechanism. He hadn't expected the question, and it made him feel a tiny bit flustered not knowing why Becket asked in the first place.

Becket grinned.

"Well, None-of-your-fucking-business, it was nice meeting you. I'll make sure not to sneak up on you again."

Chuck was startled by his own laugh, especially considering how honest it sounded. Becket seemed to linger an extra couple of seconds before he reluctantly stepped out of the lift. As soon as he had, he turned to look over his shoulder, caught Chuck's gaze, and delivered a dazzling smile that made something in Chuck's stomach flutter. It was embarrassing how much that one smile seemed to affect him. He could feel the tips of his ears burn.

"Piss off, you wanker."

Despite the harsh words, Becket seemed to understand that it wasn't actually an insult.

"Goodnight to you too."

The doors started closing and Becket's smile slowly bled over into an almost sly grin. Chuck found himself unable to look away as Becket slowly walked backwards down the corridor, hands still in his pockets and steps confident yet relaxed. He looked to effortlessly handsome that it was almost annoying.

The gap was diminishing quickly as the doors continued to close, forcing Chuck to make a split-second decision.

"My name is Chuck."

Now Becket was definitely grinning, his face lighting up with almost innocent delight. He had time to offer Chuck a jaunty little salute before he disappeared from view, and Chuck was left staring at his own slightly distorted reflection in the chrome doors. It took a second for him to gather his composure while the lift obediently continued to ascend, completely unaffected by Chuck's mental state.

He let out a trembling breath and willed his heart to stop beating so unnervingly fast. But no matter how hard he tried he couldn't seem to stop smiling, a delighted hum thrumming through his veins. Chuck wasn't entirely sure what had just happened but he liked it. Oh, did he ever.

Maybe it was high time he made an effort to be more neighbourly?

Yes, that seemed like an excellent idea.

 

* * *

 

After that first meeting, Chuck started seeing Becket a lot more. He wasn't sure if something in Becket's schedule had changed or if Chuck was simply more prone to noticing him now that he had talked to the bloke, but suddenly he seemed to be everywhere.

He was leaving at the same time as Chuck did one morning, was leafing through his mail by the post boxes two days after that, just as Chuck returned home from his classes at the university, and he even ran into Chuck on the street two blocks from their building one Friday afternoon when he was out walking Max. Becket insisted on accompanying him, just for the sake of being friendly, and Chuck couldn't quite say no to him.

It was embarrassing, really, but there was something genuine and terribly endearing about Becket's smile when he asked if he could come along during Max's walks, and when he said hi to Chuck in the mornings. He made it seem like he couldn't possibly think of a better way to spend his time than talking to Chuck, even if Chuck was just his usual snarky self.

To Chuck's immense surprise, Becket seemed to actually enjoy his company, which was virtually unheard of and possibly a bit worrying since it said quite a lot about Becket's sense of self-preservation — or lack thereof. Becket always lingered long enough to offer a smile and a heartfelt greeting, if not an actual conversation, that Chuck found himself getting dragged into without even meaning to. He couldn't even count the amount of time he and Becket had spent talking, jumping from one topic to the other without a moment's pause. They rarely agreed, but weren't the least bit deterred by it.

The times Chuck had Max with him Becket always stooped down to give the dog a couple of scratches, which Max naturally embraced with over-exaggerated hums of pleasure, tongue lolling happily. Chuck tried to deny that he wasn't a tiny bit jealous. It would have been beyond pathetic to be jealous of his _dog_ , just because he got more attention from Becket than Chuck did.

But maybe he was. A little.

Still, he couldn't deny that he appreciated just how considerate and enthusiastic Becket was when it came to Max. It was one of those things that Chuck more or less demanded out of the people he socialised with. If they didn't like his dog they could piss off.

All in all, Becket was bewilderingly friendly and while it confused Chuck, he couldn't help liking it. He barely even knew his other neighbours — and felt no need to actually _get_ to know them either — but Becket was different. He was a bit of a dork, sure, and almost annoyingly perfect, but a genuinely good person. He was hardworking, juggling three part-time jobs — bartender, construction worker and security guard — and that combined with his honest, caring nature made him stand out even if he rarely made a fuss or demanded attention.

So maybe it wasn't so unexpected that Chuck found himself fascinated by him.

Chuck was the first to admit that he wasn't particularly skilled when it came to social interaction, and that his experiences with forging and maintaining friendships were sorely underdeveloped. As a kid he had rarely stayed long enough in one place to find any, always getting dragged along with his dad when he moved from one military base to another. Friends and casual socialising just wasn't in Chuck's repertoire, so that someone as well-adjusted as Raleigh wanted to talk to him felt both flattering and like something out of the Twilight Zone.

Or at least highly improbable.

That didn't mean that Chuck didn't appreciate it, and he made sure to pay attention to their conversations and Becket in general. In a way he wished that he could pay _less_ attention, because the more he saw of Becket, the more attached he got. And considering that they were only meeting so frequently because they happened to live in the same building, and that Chuck's initial greeting had been an attempt to punch the guy's teeth in, he wasn't sure what his chances were.

But he took the time to learn a couple of things about Becket while he had the chance. Not the usual stuff like where Raleigh worked, that he was five years older than Chuck, and had a big brother named Yancy — no, the small things. The seemingly trivial things that made Raleigh into who he was.

Like how he seemed to love thick, knitted jumpers that were horribly ugly, but looked soft and comfortable. Or how he obviously forgot the proper way to work a belt some days. Or how annoyingly cheerful he was on the mornings they happened to run into each other in the lift, practically bouncing on his heels while Chuck did everything he could not to strangle the bastard, just to get some bloody peace and quiet while he tried to wake up properly. He was also an admirable gentleman, always holding the door open for people when it was polite to do so, and Chuck was willing to bet that he helped tiny old ladies across the street on a frequent basis.

What Chuck liked the most, though, was how Becket made him feel.

It was as if every single nerve ending in Chuck's body became alert, tuning in to Becket's frequency whenever he was near. He had never been so acutely aware of another person in his entire life. It was as if the very air between them seemed to crackle, and he found himself lingering closer and closer as the days and weeks progressed.

Chuck knew that he hadn't smiled this much, or so effortlessly, since his mum died.

Before, Chuck had rarely left his apartment except for school, grocery runs, and walks with Max, but now he found himself looking for reasons to head out, just on the off-chance that he might run into Raleigh. It was ridiculous and Chuck was mortifyingly embarrassed by the whole thing, but he couldn't help it. For every smile Becket sent his way, the harder Chuck seemed to fall.

Because he was. He might be a bit thick when it came to social norms, but he could tell when he was falling in love with someone. It was stupid considering that he might not even be Raleigh's friend, much less someone to be considered as a possible love interest, but Raleigh was just so _different_. Chuck actually smiled when he saw Becket, and got to be sarcastic all he wanted, since Becket usually matched it without missing a beat. It was thrilling and exciting in a way that Chuck hadn't known that socialising could be.

For the first time, he understood just what he might have been missing out on.

And while he had only known the guy for two months, one couldn't exactly say that he was rushing into it either. Even if they only met once in a while, Chuck still knew more about Becket — his personality, likes and dislikes, his opinions and habits — than he did about the Weis, who were supposed to be actual friends of his. Through shared classes as the university, granted, but friends none the less.

Chuck felt like he knew Raleigh pretty well by then, so it didn't feel weird at all to fall in love with him. Quite the opposite, really, since there was always that tension between them — the one that made Chuck hope that the feeling was mutual.

It was risky, but he let himself fall deeper, relishing in every smile and playful nudge Raleigh offered. Chuck soaked it all up, practically starving for it — for the attention and the knowledge that at least _someone_ liked to have him around. He just wanted it so badly.

And for a brief, blissful moment it seemed possible.

But then Chuck was introduced to Mako Mori.

It was like getting his chest ripped open from the inside out.

She seemed to come literally out of nowhere, since Raleigh had never mentioned her before. One day she was just there, in all her glory, walking next to Becket when he came in through the front door and called for Chuck to hold the lift for them. He did so on a reflex.

Becket was all bright smiles and enthusiasm, greeting Chuck with heart-warming familiarity before introducing his much quieter companion.

"Chuck, this is Mako Mori. Mako, this is Chuck Hansen. He lives in apartment 506."

Chuck wasn't sure what to make of that. Or, more correctly, he wasn't sure what Mako was to Becket. It caused an almost painful squeeze in his chest when he realised that yes, that did matter to him, and no, it was not his place to ask. He was just the neighbour.

"Hi. Nice to meet you." It took some effort, but it sounded polite enough as he held out his hand towards her. The handshake was surprisingly firm, in a good way. It made her seem dependable.

Chuck hated her.

"You too," she replied, the softness of her voice contrasting somewhat to the strength in her posture and steel in her eyes. She was beautiful too, in a delicate and graceful way, but without making her seem weak.

A heavy, cold stone landed in Chuck's gut — one that only grew when Raleigh picked up whatever conversation he and Mori had been in the middle of, seemingly forgetting that Chuck was even there in the first place. But, then again, why wouldn't he? Chuck was just the bloody neighbour.

He watched as Becket seemed to orbit around Mori like a worshipping moon.

Chuck could feel his heart stutter, but he hoped it didn't show on his face. For the first time since he got to know Becket, he was actually relieved when they reached the third floor and Becket and Mori walked out to head towards Becket's apartment.

When the doors closed Chuck's chest felt tight, making it difficult to breathe, and it took him a second to realise why.

Raleigh hadn't said goodbye.

He had been so caught up in his conversation with Mako that he hadn't as much as glanced in Chuck's direction, much less taken notice of him enough to say goodbye. Raleigh always said goodbye. Not once had he forgotten.

Until now.

Chuck swallowed as he stood there, waiting to reach his floor. He told himself that the sinking sensation in his stomach had to do with the change in altitude, not the sudden ache in his chest.

But really, he wasn't fooling anyone.

 

* * *

 

From that point on, Chuck took no pleasure whatsoever in seeing Becket. Mostly because the majority of the times, Mori was with him, smiling that pretty smile of hers and being so utterly perfect that Chuck wanted to gouge his own eyes out.

She came and went about as frequently as Becket did, sometimes arriving late at night and not leaving until early in the mornings. It didn't take a genius to figure out what that meant. Of course Raleigh had a girlfriend. It shouldn't have come as a surprise. Raleigh was both disgustingly nice and incredibly attractive, so of course he had one. Mako was pretty much perfect for him.

They were perfect for _each other_.

Chuck took to avoiding both Raleigh and Mori if he could, even if it was cowardly. He went to the university later than usual in the mornings, when he knew that they would already have left. He stayed a bit longer some evenings, so that he wouldn't run in to them in the hallways. He took other routes when he walked Max, just to make sure that they didn't accidentally bump into him. It wasn't even big changes. Just an extension of how he dodged his old man's calls or avoided certain people at school because they pissed him off. It was a matter of habit, simple as that.

And if he ever _did_ see them, he made sure to keep a certain distance. He didn't have the capacity to be nice to them — his temper wouldn't allow it — and he knew that he came off as an arsehole more than once. He didn't want to get pulled into their conversations and always replied curtly or evasively, not wanting to lingering longer than strictly necessary. But Raleigh just wouldn't leave him alone. Most of the time, Raleigh seemed confused by the sudden hostility, while Mori started giving Chuck slightly concerned glances after a week or two.

Chuck ignored them.

He didn't care if he was making a good impression on Raleigh's girlfriend or not, because she was _Raleigh's girlfriend_. Chuck simply couldn't stand seeing the worship in Becket's eyes whenever he looked at Mako. Becket was so stupidly in love that Chuck wanted to punch something — or someone. Mako was more discreet than that, but there was no denying the affection in her words and gestures.

Max loved Mako. Of course he did, because Chuck's life sucked and even his _dog_ was allying himself with the enemy. Max flirted with Mori just as much as he did with Raleigh, and Chuck had to stand there and wait for both of them to stop fawning over Chuck's stupid dog, so that he could eventually take him on his bloody walks.

Chuck didn't let Becket come with him anymore, but it was all the same, since Becket had more or less stopped asking anyway. He and Mako usually had plans.

It was unreasonable and selfish, but Chuck couldn't help feeling abandoned. He had no claim on Raleigh, even if he might have, momentarily, dreamed that they could become more than friends. Chuck had to hold himself back from snapping angrily as soon as Mako was close, simply because he was so incredibly jealous that he didn't know what to do with himself.

In the end, the only thing that kept him from it was the thought of how much Raleigh would hate him for it. In a way, Chuck felt impressed by the amount of discipline he had — it went against his usually impulsive nature — but, as said, he'd only push Becket away faster if he didn't. That didn't mean that Chuck was overly polite, but he wasn't spitting insults without any kind of provocation, either.

Then again, it wasn't like he actually saw Raleigh anymore — or talked to him. Between Mako and Chuck's attempts to avoid him, it took days before he even caught sight of Becket, and not always to the extent that Becket noticed him. So Chuck had already lost, in every way that actually counted.

And the stone in Chuck's gut kept growing. Sometimes it was difficult to breathe. Sometimes he just wanted it to end, because no matter how many times he told himself it was pointless to hope, he couldn't keep his heart from skipping a beat whenever Raleigh smiled.

Chuck was still in love with him.

It was pathetic. It made Chuck angry. But he tried not to take it out on Raleigh, even if a part of him wanted to. He wanted to lash out and scream and yell — he wanted someone to know how much he was suffering from this stupid shit.

But he didn't allow himself to do that. Chuck had decided to be mature about it, even if it was annoyingly difficult. Or, well, _mature_ might be the wrong word, since sulking was about as juvenile as you could get, but at least Chuck kept it to himself. No one else suffered for his stupidity.

It actually worked rather well until Raleigh asked him about it, one of those times when Chuck hadn't been able to escape getting stuck in the lift with him. They had barely spoken to each other in the past month, except for brief, superficial greetings. Raleigh had been together with Mako for about a month and a half, by Chuck's count.

It felt so much longer.

"Hey, you okay?" The honest concern in Raleigh's voice made Chuck grind his teeth.

He wasn't fucking okay.

"Yeah, of course I am." It sounded true enough, but for some reason it didn't seem to fool Raleigh.

"You sure? Because you don't look like it," Becket replied, frowning as he stepped closer. Chuck had to fight an urge to recoil. "I can't remember the last time I saw you smile."

Raleigh was probably right — Chuck couldn't remember either. Maybe because Mori had been coming to Becket's apartment far too often lately, rubbing in just how non-existent Chuck's chances with Raleigh were.

But Chuck couldn't exactly say that, could he?

"I have a lot of school assignments," he lied instead.

Raleigh had seemed both impressed and intimidated when he had learned that Chuck was majoring in mechanical engineering and biology at the same time, so he would probably accept it as a decent enough reason. And there actually _was_ a shitload of work to be done on a daily basis. Chuck liked the challenge since it kept him motivated. Not to mention that it was fun to wave it in Herc's face, who seemed to have completely forgotten that his son was off doing something with his life.

Sometimes Chuck wondered if his dad even remembered that he _had_ a son.

"Maybe you need to take a break from it? You look tense."

Chuck wanted to snarl that it was none of Becket's business. He didn't want pity or concern. He wanted to go home, sulk, and possibly cuddle with his dog.

No, on second thought: he _definitely_ wanted to cuddle with his dog.

"Hey, why don't you come over?" Raleigh asked suddenly, and Chuck couldn't help that his breath caught. Neither of them had ever invited the other over before. He wasn't sure why — perhaps it was some invisible boundary they were afraid to cross — but it was rather monumental that Raleigh did it now. "Mako and I are going to watch a movie and we'd love for you to come."

Chuck's enthusiasm plummeted, and that stupid flicker of hope in his chest got smothered once again.

 _Fuck_ , that _hurt_.

It was difficult to exhale around the tightness in his throat. Raleigh of course didn't know, but the last thing Chuck wanted was to become the third wheel during one of their cuddly movie nights. He'd feel even worse than before.

"No thanks, mate," he replied, his shoulders stiff to keep them from slumping in dejection. He felt so fucking depressed that he was ashamed of himself. Chuck was supposed to be better than this.

Becket could obviously tell that his suggestion had only made things worse.

"Chuck, are you sure that you're okay?" Raleigh was beginning to sound alarmed now, and when he reached out to touch Chuck's shoulder he swiftly moved out of reach, almost bumping into the wall in his effort to get as far away from Raleigh as possible. Raleigh looked startled. "Chuck, what—"

"This is you," Chuck interrupted, nodding towards the door that slid open, revealing the third floor corridor.

A silence settled between them, but Chuck refused to look at Raleigh. He still knew what kind of expression would be on his face. Most of the time Becket was friendly and at ease, but underneath all that he possessed a stubbornness that almost rivalled Chuck's. There was nothing soft about Raleigh, even if he was kind, and he could be relentless when he wanted to.

"Talk to me, Chuck. I can tell that something is wrong."

Chuck almost wanted to laugh. As if he would ever talk to Raleigh about this? He might have revealed more to Raleigh than he had to anyone else for years, but that was because he had been too bloody stupid to realise that he was laying himself bare, even when he shouldn't have.

"I'm just tired, alright? So stop being such a fucking stickybeak and get off so I can go home and get some rest," Chuck snapped, rubbing a hand over his eyes.

Raleigh seemed to hesitate, and was forced to reach out and stop the automatic doors from closing.

"Please, Chuck." Raleigh was practically begging.

Fuck. He had never thought that Raleigh would _beg_. Chuck was just the neighbour, and he had spent the past month ignoring Raleigh like the rude bastard that he was. Raleigh shouldn't care enough to beg.

It took everything Chuck had not to succumb to it. A part of him wanted to. God, how he wished he could just get this off his chest somehow, but he couldn't tell _Raleigh_.

So he shook his head instead, trying not to feel guilty when he heard Becket's disappointed sigh. Chuck kept his eyes trained on the floor when Raleigh finally left, but he didn't feel much happier.

Actually, he felt worse.

Fuck. Why had he made such a mess of things?

Why had he been stupid enough to fall in love with his neighbour that he barely even knew?

Fucking hell.

 

* * *

 

It was quite the surprise when Chuck suddenly found himself meeting Raleigh's big brother. Yancy Becket had obviously visited his little brother a couple of times since Chuck had moved to the building, but they hadn't actually bumped into each other before.

Chuck was on his way to walk Max, leash lazily wrapped around his wrist, when the lift stopped at the third floor instead of continuing all the way down to the lobby. Chuck somehow managed to hold back a curse, but it was a near thing. Max just gave him a tired, unimpressed look. Chuck glared back.

When the doors opened and Raleigh was on the other side, Chuck expected to see Mori next to him. But instead there was another blue eyed, handsome blond who — much like Raleigh — looked like he could be in an ad inspiring patriotism, heroism, and other things typically American. Chuck surmised, rather easily, that it had to be Yancy.

The Beckets were apparently half bald eagle or something, considering how both of the brothers came out looking like all-American poster boys.

Also, was everyone that Raleigh was even remotely associated with alarmingly attractive? It had sure as hell started to seem that way.

Max was wagging his tail excitedly at the new arrivals, and Raleigh looked to be about as enthusiastic, his grin wide as he stepped into the lift and immediately crouched down to get a slobbering kiss from Max.

And Chuck was _still_ not jealous of his dog, dammit.

Yancy stepped in after Raleigh, looking far more composed, but unmistakably amused by his little brother's behaviour. He seemed like a nice, dependable guy, even at first glance.

"Yancy Becket," he greeted, and held out his hand above his little brother's head. Raleigh was still kneeling next to Max.

"Chuck Hansen. And this is Max." He nodded down towards the bulldog while shaking Yancy's hand. "I live on the fifth floor."

Something like recognition passed on Yancy's face, which was weird since they had never spoken to each other before. It was followed by a wide grin that looked so much like Raleigh's that it was actually a bit adorable.

Yancy gave Chuck's hand one final squeeze before letting go. Chuck had the weirdest feeling that it was supposed to mean something, but he couldn't figure out what.

"So you're the Australian guy who Rals won't sh—"

"Yancy and I are going out to get something to eat," Raleigh interrupted as he straightened, looking like he didn't even notice that his brother had been in the middle of a sentence. "Wanna come?"

Yancy gave his little brother a weird look, and Chuck felt a sting of something complicated that was part anger and part humiliation. Why was Raleigh inviting Chuck to come along when Yancy clearly thought it was a bad idea?

"Nah, I'm good," Chuck replied, not quite able to keep the tightness out of his voice.

"You sure?" It was Yancy who asked.

"Yeah, don't wanna impose, mate." Chuck shrugged, figuring that it was the out Yancy had been looking for. The doors pinged as they reached the bottom floor, but neither of them moved to get off yet.

"Impose? I'd love for you to come, and I'm sure Raleigh agrees," Yancy replied with a smile that was disarmingly honest and kind — only serving to make Chuck feel confused. "I like getting to know my baby brother's friends."

"You mean interrogate," Raleigh deadpanned, giving his brother a scathing look.

Chuck felt something inside of him twist. It would have been nice to consider himself as one of Raleigh's friends, but he wasn't sure if he could anymore — not when he had spent so much time actively avoiding him. It was flattering that Yancy assumed that he was, though.

"Thanks, but I have things I need to do," Chuck declined, demonstratively lifting Max's leash. "Dog to walk. School assignments."

"Oh yeah." Yancy nodded, still smiling. "You're studying at the university, right? Engineering and biology, was it? Both majors?"

How the fuck did Yancy know that? That was an awful lot of details for someone Chuck had never spoken to before. But, truth be told, he wasn't feeling up to trying to figure out why. He just wanted to walk Max and then return to his flat to wallow in his own misery.

"Yeah." Chuck didn't know what else to reply, falling short and feeling too indifferent to really care.

"Man, and sometimes I felt like I couldn't even get through high school, much less higher education," Yancy said with an almost sheepish grin, which made him look annoyingly attractive. Then again, both he and Raleigh seemed to be blessed in that department.

"He did go to college eventually," Raleigh informed, "but he was a pain in the ass all the way through, always whining about how difficult it was."

Chuck couldn't exactly relate, but he nodded all the same, while subtly trying to inch closer to the exit. Max followed with a grumble. Being talkative was apparently a Becket family trait, but Chuck wasn't interested in prolonging the conversation. As polite and friendly as Yancy was, Chuck was trying to get _less_ involved with Raleigh — getting to know his brother was rather counterproductive.

"Please come."

Chuck froze. He couldn't help being surprised by the hint of desperation in Raleigh's voice, as if he could tell that he was slowly but surely losing Chuck's attention — possibly also his friendship.

Chuck swallowed before forcing himself to smile, but it was weak and not very believable.

"Sorry, maybe some other time."

A flat out lie, that was, but he had to say something.

Raleigh didn't look pleased. Fact was, he looked like Chuck had just kicked a puppy right in front of him. It made Chuck feel guilty enough that he attempted another smile, this one marginally more successful.

"See you some other time, okay?"

Raleigh nodded, but didn't look convinced. Chuck couldn't blame him.

"Nice meeting you, Yancy." Chuck gave him a quick nod before tugging gently on Max's leash, leading him towards the front door.

"You too," Yancy replied, but he looked concerned.

Chuck ignored it and just kept walking. He didn't have the energy to deal with either of the Beckets, and least of all two at the same time.

He cursed the day he decided that being neighbourly was a good idea.

 

* * *

 

It became a thing. Raleigh kept coming up with offers for them to meet on a more structured basis — probably hoping that Chuck would keep his word — but Chuck denied every single one. Most of them didn't even involve Mori, who seemed to be coming by less and less. But that was none of Chuck's business, since he was just the neighbour.

Either way, Chuck didn't want to hang out with Raleigh. He was so sick and tired of pining after him that it felt better not to see Raleigh at all. Maybe he'd grow out of it eventually.

He hated feeling weak, and this infatuation of his was definitely making him vulnerable.

Chuck even felt miserable enough to agree to go drinking with the Wei triplets from his biology class, and that said quite a lot about how depressed he was getting.

Chuck had actually had a rather rowdy period at the beginning of his life in higher education, but it had been nigh on impossible to combine partying with his ambitions and perfectionism when it came to grades, so he had cooled down remarkably since then. But that didn't mean that he had forgotten how to knock back shots like the best of them, although he had to admit that doing it with the Wei triples was a bad, bad idea.

If nothing else because he never quite knew if he was seeing double or not, since one of the Weis could have left the table without him noticing, and the alcohol he had consumed filled in the blanks for him. Then again, if he started seeing four of them, or — God forbid — five, it was definitely time to stop.

Still, it was liberating. Also dangerous, unless he wanted to get drunk enough to start blurting out his secrets, a voice in his head kept reminding him, but Chuck ignored it. Mostly because a part of him _wanted_ to get that drunk.

He wanted to tell someone.

It was a self-fulfilling prophecy, really, so it came as no surprise that halfway through the night Chuck found himself pouring it all out to the Wei triplets. Or maybe it was just Cheung. Chuck had no idea. The amount of empty glasses before him was a testament to how little he knew about anything at that moment, except perhaps that he was spectacularly drunk, and he would no doubt regret it horribly in the morning.

"So you're in a love triangle, eh?" That was definitely Jin, not Cheung. Good to know that at least one of the triplets had stayed through the whole pathetic rant he had just unleashed on them.

Chuck sighed and ran a hand through his hair while staring forlornly into the empty shot glasses in front of him.

"Well, really, it's a love angle," he corrected, voice slurring just a little. "I love him, he loves her, and vice versa. She would have to love me too for the angle to close into a triangle."

Jin snickered, but it wasn't him who spoke next.

"What are you going to do about it?" Hu asked. So at least two Weis were present, and the third did look surprisingly solid for an alcohol-induced hallucination.

The snort Chuck let out was sharp and extremely unattractive. He blamed it on being so spectacularly pissed.

"Nothing. What the fuck do you expect me to do? He has a _girlfriend_. And I'm his _neighbour_." Chuck wrinkled his nose. "I don't even know if he's into guys. I mean, I thought he was, there at the beginning, and maybe he is, but that doesn't change the fact that he's taken."

"So you're just going to chicken out?" Jin sounded very judgemental.

"Oi!" Chuck barked indignantly. "What the fuck am I supposed to do? He's _taken_."

"Tell him?" Cheung suggested.

And look at that — all three Weis were actually there.

"Yeah, right, that would go over _so_ well. Piss off, ya' bloody wanker," Chuck muttered sullenly.

While talking about it helped a little, he was definitely not ready to heed any kind of advice — and especially not when it was as stupid as _telling_ Raleigh about it. Fuck no. Chuck would just have to wait for it to pass. How long could that possibly take?

The Weis were glancing at each other, but seemed to accept that Chuck wasn't going to see reason — especially not when he was too drunk to think straight. So they, with the help of Chuck, gracefully let the subject die. It just seemed better that way.

Chuck wasn't even sure if they cared about his pathetically non-existent love life to begin with, and if they did, he had no idea why. Either way, Chuck was happy to put it out of his mind for the rest of the evening. It was amazing how much better one could feel just as long as you were willing to embrace the usefulness of living in absolute fucking denial.

It worked well too, until the moment he was fumbling with his key in an attempt to get inside his building. After three tries he was able to get it open and stumble into the foyer, perhaps a bit less coordinated than recommended. He had sobered up some on his way home, but the only thing that served to do was make him feel more pathetic.

He found the button for the lift and stood there swaying as he waited for it to arrive. He was so preoccupied with not falling flat on his face that he didn't hear Becket coming until he was almost right next to him.

"Chuck?"

He would probably have jumped in surprise if he hadn't been so royally smashed. Now he only grimaced and waved a hand in Raleigh's general direction. He was probably coming home from one of those late shifts of his.

"Go away. I'm drunk."

"Yeah, I can tell," Raleigh replied flatly, reaching out with a steadying hand when Chuck tipped forward.

Chuck wanted to wrench out of the grip and snarl that he wasn't some charity case, but fact was that Raleigh's hand on his elbow felt grounding. It felt good. It also helped him step into the lift without stumbling over his own feet.

Raleigh was kind enough to push the buttons because Chuck wasn't quite able to distinguish one from the other.

"Do I want to know?" Raleigh didn't sound reprimanding, per se, but definitely exasperated. As if he thought that Chuck was being an idiot for getting so drunk he could barely stand.

Chuck knew that should have pissed him off — and it did, since it was none of Raleigh's business — but he just didn't have the energy to get upset about it. Raleigh could think whatever he wanted.

"I'm twenty-one. It's completely legal, old man," Chuck replied evenly, but he was beginning to feel the high of the alcohol give way to the dip that often came afterwards. Chuck wasn't sure why, but he had a tendency to become quite maudlin when that happened, which was definitely not something he wanted to happen in front of Raleigh fucking Becket.

But he probably wouldn't be able to escape even if he tried, not considering the shape he was in.

"That's not what I meant, Chuck." Raleigh was so close that Chuck could feel the heat coming off his body and smell the scent of his soap. He smelled really nice. And Raleigh sounded so concerned and heartfelt. Talk about unfair. "What's wrong?"

Of course Raleigh knew that something had to be wrong. Of course he noticed that Chuck wouldn't get this drunk unless he was seriously depressed. And of course he would ask. He was just that kind of guy. Chuck sucked in a deep breath and felt something inside him crumble. Not all of it, thank God, but just a tiny fraction of his control, which was more than enough to cause a small disaster.

"I'm just... so tired. All the time." Chuck swayed as the lift kept climbing. He realised that they must have passed Raleigh's floor already. Raleigh was taking him home.

That was enough to make the back of Chuck's eyelids sting. Suddenly he just didn't care anymore, and allowed himself to lean against Raleigh, his forehead settling against that nice, broad shoulder. Raleigh, amazingly, didn't seem to mind.

"I wish I could just... stop."

"Stop what?" Raleigh asked carefully, one of his hands resting on Chuck's elbow and the other on his back.

"Feeling like this," Chuck mumbled, barely stopping himself from inching even closer. It just felt so nice to finally get to stand there with Raleigh, and he couldn't quite remember why he shouldn't allow himself to continue doing that.

"Like what?"

Chuck shook his head. He couldn't tell. He just couldn't. It was a gut-wrenching pain, interlaced with panic-inducing fear, and he just couldn't do it.

To his infinite embarrassment he felt how he began to tremble, and while he didn't cry or something equally mortifying, it wasn't far from it. He just didn't know what to do anymore, and in his desperation he couldn't think of any other solution than to cling to what little he had.

Meaning Raleigh.

Chuck's hands gripped Raleigh's jacket, fingers cramping and knuckles turning white from how hard he was holding on. He buried his face against Raleigh's neck and under different circumstances he might have felt excited about that, but now it was just a way for him to avoid looking Raleigh in the eye. That and to desperately search for comfort he wasn't even sure if he deserved.

He felt like such an arse.

"Okay," Raleigh whispered softly, wrapping his arms around Chuck in an honest to God hug.

Chuck couldn't remember the last time someone hugged him. He had forgotten how nice it could feel. Raleigh held on almost as tightly as Chuck did, his breath fanning against the side of Chuck's head, tickling the top of his ear. "Alright, you don't have to tell me. Let's just get you home, okay?"

Chuck tried to swallow down the lump in his throat, but when he didn't manage he settled for a shaky nod instead. He couldn't believe how utterly caring Raleigh could be. He showed so much compassion towards someone who clearly didn't deserve it, not considering how short and almost rude Chuck had been towards him for the past month. But that didn't seem to matter to Raleigh, because Raleigh was so much better than that.

And all of this wasn't making Chuck love Raleigh any less.

Fuck his life.

Seriously. Fuck. His. Life.

 

 

 

* * *

 

Chuck woke to Max gleefully licking tufts of his hair, smearing drool all over his left ear while he was at it. If his head had been less prone to explode, Chuck could have barked at his dog to stop, but now he only groaned miserably and made feeble attempts to push Max off the bed.

When that didn't work, he flopped onto his stomach and tried to cover his head with his arms.

Chuck was far too hung over for this shit. Too bad it didn't also affect his ability to remember what had happened the previous night. Jesus bloody Christ, he had made a fool out of himself in front of Raleigh. Fucking great.

Max barked happily and Chuck winced before pulling his pillow on top of his head, trying to muffle some of the noise coming from the kitchen.

Wait, what?

Why was someone in his kitchen?

Ice cold dread spread through his veins, but he was far too miserable to actually get up and investigate. He was pretty certain of who it was anyway, because that was just his luck. He could hear footsteps coming closer to his door — probably because of Max's bark — and wished that he would just disappear. What was Raleigh still doing there? It had to be morning by then, and Chuck would much rather feel hung over and pathetic on his own, thank you very much.

"You're awake." Raleigh sounded less happy than usual, but still far from angry. "Here are some painkillers, and I suggest you drink this."

Chuck didn't peek, but he heard the soft clunk of something being placed on his bedside table. He assumed it was a glass of water.

Silence reigned for a moment and Chuck just knew that Raleigh had to be standing there, staring down at him. Possibly with his arms crossed over his chest, looking reprimanding and judgemental. Chuck honestly couldn't blame him — not after how Chuck had behaved last night.

Max had burrowed down next to him on the bed, a warm ball pressed up against Chuck's side. It was actually quite cosy.

"I can't figure out if you're just playing dead or hoping that you'd die," Raleigh said after a couple of seconds, sounding thoughtful but also unmistakably smug. The fucking bastard.

"Both," Chuck grumbled testily.

"Well, neither seem to be working, so I suggest you get your ass out of bed." A brief pause. "I also recommend a shower."

Raleigh was clearly insinuating that Chuck smelled like shit, and while Chuck bristled, his headache kept him from snarling back.

"Why the fuck are you here?" he asked instead, voice tired and hoarse.

"Because when a friend of mine gets himself so drunk that he can barely stand, I don't think that he should be left to his own devices," Raleigh replied patiently.

"Piss off. I never asked you to take care of me." Chuck felt unreasonably angry, but also undeniably flattered. Something warm and pleasant was growing in his chest at the thought that Raleigh cared enough to not only help him the night before, but be there when he woke up in the morning.

A sudden thought struck him and before Raleigh had time to reply Chuck had pushed away his pillow to be able to peer up at him, somewhat blinded by the sudden brightness.

"Wait... don't you have work today?"

Raleigh's schedule was never very consistent, what with him taking on shifts left and right whenever one opened up, but he was still rarely _without_ something to do.

"I called in sick," was Raleigh's calm reply. He uncrossed his arms, letting them hang at his sides instead, while Chuck was trying to fight down the inevitable surge of guilt.

"I..." Chuck hesitated, never one for apologies or showing gratitude. It just didn't come naturally to him to leave himself vulnerable. "You shouldn't have done that."

It sounded more like a sullen accusation than the regretful apology he wanted to give. He hated the thought of being a burden, even if Raleigh had willingly chosen to stay with him instead of going to work. Chuck didn't want to be seen as someone who caused Raleigh trouble.

He couldn't meet Raleigh's gaze, choosing instead to stare blankly ahead where he lay flat on his stomach on the bed. Chuck's head was turned in Raleigh's direction, but other than that he tried not to acknowledge his presence.

"Yeah, probably not," Raleigh agreed flatly, making Chuck flinch. "But I wanted to. So I expect you to show some gratitude."

Raleigh crouched down, so that he ended up being within Chuck's line of sight all the same. He looked troubled, but smiled when he reached out to scratch Max behind his ear.

"Swallow the painkillers, drink some water, and take a shower, okay? You'll feel better."

Chuck hadn't known that being shown care could hurt as much as it did. Why was Raleigh being so nice to him? It just made Chuck feel like an even bigger dick.

"Okay?" Raleigh persisted, not one to give up without a fight.

Chuck swallowed and nodded, knowing that there was no use being stubborn about this. While he might definitely deserve to suffer for being such an arsehole, Raleigh shouldn't have to put up with how cranky and rude Chuck would be if he didn't take something for his pounding headache.

Raleigh's smile was relieved and so soft that it made Chuck's heart squeeze.

How was anyone allowed to look so attractive?

"Good. I'll be in the kitchen." Raleigh continued to smile as his hand shifted, moving from scratching Max's ear to brush gently against Chuck's bare shoulder.

Chuck could barely hold back a shiver and was grateful when Raleigh straightened. The warmth of his touch still lingered, though — a tantalising whisper against Chuck's skin — and he had a hard time maintaining his composure. His head might be aching and nausea itching at the back of his throat, but it paled in comparison to the flutter of butterflies in his stomach.

Just one touch. One, single touch and Chuck felt like a blushing teenager.

Fucking _hell_.

A shower was probably a good idea after all, as long as it was a cold one.

 

* * *

 

Chuck did indeed feel more human once the painkillers kicked in and he had washed away the lingering smell of alcohol. After he had showered he made sure to brush his teeth and drink some more water, willing his head to stop spinning. He knew it would probably take hours before everything settled.

Why on earth had he thought it was a good idea to get roaring drunk with the Wei triplets?

He dressed in a ratty t-shirt and soft sweatpants, figuring that he couldn't exactly make a worse impression on Raleigh than he already had.

Raleigh looked up when Chuck finally emerged, freshly showered if still terribly hung over. It was decidedly weird to have Raleigh in his flat. Not that it was messier than usual — Chuck kept things fairly clean, if nothing else to prevent Max from eating shit lying on the floor — but Raleigh had just never been there before, and he seemed out of place with his kind smile and tousled blond hair. It was getting a bit longer than usual, but Raleigh didn't seem in a hurry to cut it.

What was even more distracting than that, however, was the lack of an ugly jumper. Since they usually ran into each other in the hallways, lift, or out on the streets, Chuck had only ever seen Raleigh with his jacket or at the very least a thick jumper. Chuck had always assumed that Raleigh looked good underneath all of those layers — to go with his pretty face — but he had been entirely unprepared for _how_ good.

Raleigh was dressed in a pair of jeans and a white singlet that left his arms bare, and Chuck wasn't sure if he could get away with blaming the staring on his hangover. Because it wasn't just the sight of Raleigh's lovely shaped biceps that left him momentarily blindsided, but all the other dips and curves he could hint underneath the white fabric.

Chuck had never before been so fascinated by the gentle arch of someone's back.

All in all, it was just awkward having Raleigh in his territory, who was casually padding around like he belonged, even if he had clearly invited himself without Chuck's consent. Chuck was probably supposed to get angry about that, but if anything he felt confused and overwhelmed. Innocently so, almost, making him want to walk up to Raleigh and just curl his fingers around the hem of his singlet and hang on like some lost little duckling.

It was the weirdest impulse Chuck had ever had.

He needed to get a grip.

"Coffee?" Raleigh offered, which only made things weirder because that was _Chuck's_ coffee he was offering to serve.

"Getting comfy, are you?" Chuck mumbled dazedly as he pulled out a chair by the kitchen table and sat down, a bit heavier than usual.

Max came waddling up, bumping against Chuck's legs in an attempt to get some attention. Chuck reached down and scratched his dog's head on pure reflex, holding back a yawn. He had no idea what time it was, but that didn't really matter. He wouldn't have gotten so pissed if he hadn't known for sure that he had no classes the day after.

"Pretty much, yeah," Raleigh replied without batting an eyelash. He actually _did_ seem surprisingly comfortable when he opened one of Chuck's cabinets to take down a mug and then, without pause, moved to the coffee machine.

Chuck frowned.

"Have you been snooping around my flat all morning?" he asked suspiciously.

Raleigh shot him a wide grin that shouldn't have looked as hot as it did.

"Mostly just the kitchen." Raleigh shrugged before pointing at the coffee he was holding. "Milk? Sugar?"

Chuck shook his head, trying to keep his stomach from rolling. A plain cup of coffee was daring enough — adding milk and sugar would be pushing it.

Raleigh grabbed his own mug from the counter and brought the coffee over to the kitchen table. He pushed the steaming mug towards Chuck, who couldn't help reaching out for it, wrapping his fingers around it and soaking up the heat. Chuck felt like shit, for more than one reason.

Max settled down with a soft doggie sigh, his head pillowed on Chuck's bare feet, and Raleigh sat down opposite to Chuck, his expression unreadable. Raleigh gave Chuck time to take a couple of tentative sips of his coffee without interrupting, for which Chuck was extremely grateful. He knew that some kind of heart-to-heart lay in their immediate future, and he didn't look forward to it one bit.

While getting drunk wasn't a crime, Chuck could admit that he might have been a bit _too_ drunk to be able to claim that it was no big deal. Raleigh was clearly beside himself with worry, possibly because of how Chuck had clung to him last night. They never really touched each other, and that embrace had been far too desperate to seem healthy.

Chuck was in deep shit.

And not just because he couldn't stop staring at the sunlight slanting over Raleigh's bare arms.

"I walked your dog."

That was not what Chuck had expected Raleigh to say and he couldn't help frowning in confusion.

"You walked my dog," Chuck repeated flatly, not sure what kind of response Raleigh was looking for.

In a way it didn't surprise him, since Max was far too docile and relaxed not to have gotten his morning walk. Chuck was honestly grateful for it, since he hated the thought of causing Max discomfort just because Chuck was feeling a bit down. He loved his bloody dog.

Before he had time to say thank you — because this if anything made Raleigh deserve it — Raleigh spoke up again.

"And I'm not leaving."

Chuck blinked, feeling a bit baffled.

"You're not leaving?" he asked incredulously.

What was Raleigh getting at? It felt as if he was suddenly speaking an entirely different language and nothing made sense. And Chuck was sure it wasn't just his hangover or the sight of Raleigh's chiselled muscles that caused it.

"Chuck, stop repeating everything I say." Raleigh wrinkled his nose. It was more adorable than Chuck had thought possible. "It makes you seem a lot less intelligent than you actually are."

Chuck grimaced and took a sip of his coffee, pushing down the roll of nausea. He wasn't exactly eager to have this conversation, but he doubted that Raleigh would let him off the hook just because he was feeling a bit queasy. The bloke had been squatting in Chuck's flat all night, just waiting for him to wake up. That's dedication.

"Right now I don't feel very intelligent at all," Chuck muttered miserably.

Raleigh rolled his eyes but didn't argue. He was probably in total agreement.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong," Raleigh said, expression earnest and gaze searching. Chuck avoided it, staring down into his coffee rather than meeting Raleigh's eyes.

He couldn't tell Raleigh what was wrong. That would ruin everything.

Well, more than Chuck had already ruined it by behaving like an arse.

"Piss off." There was no heat in it, though. It actually sounded more like he was begging Raleigh to just let it go.

But it seemed like Raleigh had finally reached the end of his rope. It was a fucking long rope, that was for sure, but Chuck could hear how Raleigh gritted his teeth in barely concealed frustration when he replied.

"No, Chuck, not this time. I want to know why you barely talk to me, why I don't see you anymore, and why it feels as if I'm hurting you even if I try my damnedest not to."

Chuck sighed, rubbing a hand over his eyes. He was far too wrung out for this. He just wanted to go back to sleep and possibly never lay eyes on Raleigh again. On the other hand, if he gave Raleigh what he wanted — if he told him the reason for this bloody mess — maybe _Raleigh_ would stay away from Chuck. It seemed like the quickest way to get rid of his polite squatter.

"I know you're defensive on a good day and spitting curses on your bad ones, but seriously, Chuck, — talk to me," Raleigh practically pleaded. "I'm trying to help. I can see how miserable you are, and I know it's not just the hangover. I just don't—"

"I'm in love with you."

The silence was deafening.

Chuck was looking across the table, holding Raleigh's gaze without as much as a flinch. He hadn't planned for it to just slip out like that, but now that it had, he honestly felt much better. It was as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, and he didn't even care that Raleigh looked too surprised to even react. Chuck was glad to have said it out loud.

"You— what?" Raleigh asked. His pitch was a bit off and his eyes were almost comically wide.

"I'm in love with you," Chuck repeated calmly, but not without a slight frown. He couldn't possibly put it more succinctly than that.

"Bu— since when?"

It was Chuck's time to roll his eyes.

"How should I know? I didn't exactly circle the date in my calendar, you bloody idiot."

Raleigh was staring at him, comprehension slowly dawning on his face. Chuck drank some more of his coffee, patiently waiting for Raleigh to catch up. He couldn't help wondering what would happen next. His money was on Raleigh storming out of the flat without a backward glance.

Trust Raleigh to do something else entirely.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Raleigh had the audacity to sound _hurt_.

Chuck frowned and placed his mug back on the table with an audible clack. His headache was back, but that could have less to do with his hangover and more to do with the conversation.

"I thought that was obvious," he sniped, not in the mood to play games.

During a brief second Raleigh reminded Chuck of a confused puppy, his expression open and vulnerable, but he seemed to snap back soon enough. His frown matched Chuck's, even if it looked less hostile and more insulted.

"It's not to me."

"You have a _girlfriend_ , Raleigh," Chuck forced out through clenched teeth. It was all he could do to keep himself from shouting. He still couldn't help crossing his arms defensively over his chest, leaning back in his chair to put some distance between them. "I might be an arsehole, but I do have limits, alright?"

Raleigh looked dumbstruck.

"I have a girlfriend?" he asked dubiously, as if he had had no idea that he did in fact have one.

"Yeah, you know Mako?" Chuck wasn't even trying to hold back the anger and jealousy now. He might as well make sure to scare Raleigh off for good. "That amazing and extremely pretty Japanese woman who's been hanging around and sleeping over for the past two months?"

There was a heavy silence between them, Raleigh blinking slowly for a couple of beats.

"You—" Raleigh rubbed a hand through his hair, looking surprisingly tired. "You think that... Chuck, she's not my girlfriend."

It was Chuck's turn to blink.

Come again?

"She's not?"

Raleigh shook his head and leaned forward, bracing his elbows against the tabletop. He held Chuck's gaze, refusing to let it waver even the slightest.

"No, she's a _friend_." Raleigh sounded terribly certain about it.

"Oh..." Chuck didn't know what else to say. He could feel himself hovering between relief and embarrassment, not quite knowing in which direction to head. In the end he found himself blurting out the first thing that came to mind. "Well... that's a bit awkward."

Chuck wanted to slam his head against the table, but didn't want to risk making his headache even worse. Raleigh cleared his throat and Chuck couldn't help looking at him.

"So you've been avoiding me because you thought I had a girlfriend?" Raleigh asked carefully, as if he was afraid that it would make Chuck mad.

And it kind of did. Raleigh and Mako might not have kissed in public, but not all couples did. They did however spend a huge amount of time together, slept over, and looked at each other with worship in their eyes. Mako and Raleigh did all of that.

Heck, sometimes Raleigh seemed to think that Mako had hung the moon just for him.

"I think it was a rather logical assumption to make," Chuck snapped in his defence.

"Okay, I'll give you that," Raleigh conceded, holding up his hands in surrender. The smile he gave Chuck next was a little bit tentative, but also something else that Chuck couldn't name. "But I assure you that she's not my girlfriend."

Hope.

That was the one. Raleigh looked hopeful.

Chuck couldn't for the life of him understand why.

"Fine," he muttered, finger running along the edge of his mug while refusing to look up at Raleigh. This conversation wasn't exactly his finest moment, and Chuck wished that Raleigh would just leave so that he could proceed to mope and mourn the loss of one of his few good friends.

"Chuck, will you look at me?" Raleigh coaxed, but Chuck was stubborn enough not to succumb to it. He could hear Raleigh's exasperated sigh. "Chuck, seriously. Look at me."

Chuck gritted his teeth and glared at Raleigh from across the table, going back to having his arms crossed over his chest and shoulders raised in a clear sign of discomfort.

"What?" he barked, loud enough that Max lifted his head in surprise.

Raleigh only smiled, though, achingly soft and warm. It was enough to make Chuck swallow around the sudden lump in his throat. It was difficult to think straight when Raleigh looked at him like that.

"I'm in love with you too, you idiot."

Chuck stopped breathing, just for a second.

"You— what?"

To Chuck's immense surprise, Raleigh burst out laughing.

"See? It's quite the shock when someone tells you something like that out of the blue."

Chuck's heart plummeted, and he very nearly slammed his palms against the table.

"Don't make fun of me!"

Raleigh drew back, startled by the angry vehemence in Chuck's voice, but he caught himself quickly.

"I'm not. Chuck, I'm not making fun of you." Raleigh swallowed and licked his lips, looking nervous — but even that was kind of adorable. "I really mean it. I'm in love with you too. Have been, for ages."

Chuck couldn't help the disbelieving scoff he let out. But it wasn't because he doubted Raleigh, as much as it was him doubting that Raleigh would ever be interested in someone like Chuck. He had a well-developed sense of self-confidence, sure, but Chuck was far from an idiot and knew that people didn't usually go for the biggest arsehole they could find.

"You don't believe me?" Raleigh asked.

"Not really, no." That right there was proof of how big of a bastard Chuck could be.

Raleigh didn't seem deterred which, yeah, he totally deserved some praise for his sense of determination, but possibly also therapy for his lack of self-preservation instincts.

"Why else do you think that Yancy knows what you study?"

"What? I just assumed he—" Chuck never finished the sentence, because he honestly hadn't been able to figure that out.

"It's because I told him. He's probably sick and tired of hearing about you by now." Raleigh's smile was tense and wobbly around the edges. "I won't shut up about you."

Raleigh cleared his throat, looking down into his coffee cup for a brief second.

"I miss your smile." Chuck blinked at the almost wistful edge to Raleigh's voice. "Because I love your dimples. I miss taking walks with you and Max, because I love the way you let your guard down when you look at him. You act all tough, but when it concerns your dog you become this adorable, heartfelt goof."

Chuck should probably take offence to that, but Raleigh made it sound like a compliment.

"I miss talking to you because you're insanely intelligent, but at the same time you seem so incredibly innocent and insecure — as if you can't see just how amazing you are, and hide behind anger and rudeness." Raleigh looked amused, but still fond. "So yeah, you're a douche and should maybe do something about all of those daddy issues of yours, but it's actually fun being around you, no matter what you think."

Raleigh was obviously on a roll and Chuck wasn't even sure whether to feel flattered or angry anymore. Everything was just a bizarre jumbled mix of praise, compliments, and jibes, and it was difficult knowing how to react.

"When I make you smile or laugh I feel incredible, because I know that I'm one of the few who gets to see it." Raleigh's own smile was soft and affectionate, but also had an almost heartbreaking tinge of desperate, pleading hope to it. "I love how grumpy you are in the mornings, I love how you wear offensively tight t-shirts, and how I sometimes can't understand a word you're saying because Australian slang is just weird. And don't get me started on the adorable freckles on your shoulders."

Chuck was, not so surprisingly, perhaps, blushing.

He couldn't remember the last time he had done that, but Raleigh had certainly earned it with all the compliments he had been showering Chuck with — however obscure some of them were. Chuck didn't know how to react, much less what he should say. He just sat there for a couple of seconds, looking at Raleigh in complete and utter incomprehension, trying to calm his racing heartbeat and push down the burning heat on his cheeks.

Raleigh was in love with him? Chuck hadn't even considered that to be a possibility, mostly because it seemed too good to be true. But Raleigh looked completely honest and so disarmingly genuine.

Chuck swallowed, picking his words carefully when he eventually spoke.

"So... you're in love with me?"

"Yes." Raleigh nodded.

Chuck rubbed a hand over his mouth, feeling the first flutter of hope spark in his chest. It was closely followed by giddiness, but he tried not to let it show on his face.

"And I'm in love with you?"

Another serious nod.

"My sources say so, yeah," Raleigh confirmed.

Chuck took a second to just look at Raleigh. At the way his hair glowed golden in the light of the morning sun shining in through the window, how brilliantly blue his eyes were, and how sincere and hopeful his expression was. Chuck realised that at this moment he had Raleigh's full and unconditional attention, and that he could hurt him something terrible if he wasn't careful.

Luckily enough, Chuck wouldn't do that intentionally if he could help it.

"I should probably take you out to dinner, shouldn't I?" Chuck asked, letting his amusement shine through.

The grin Raleigh gave him wasn't just happy — it was euphoric.

"Yeah, you definitely should."

Chuck grinned back, knowing that he looked just as excited as Raleigh did, but for once not caring about how dorky that made him seem.

"Tonight?" Chuck asked, already knowing what the answer would be.

"Perfect."

 

 

* * *

 

It was difficult to say if their dinner that night could actually be classified as a date, and if so a successful one. They went for pizza — because Chuck was still vaguely nauseous and it would be a waste of expensive food if he just threw it all up again — and there was an unmistakable awkwardness to their conversation the first half hour or so.

They hadn't talked much in the past two months, and it was painfully obvious.

But once they relaxed it was as easy as it had always been, even if some parts of their conversation looked more like arguments than anything else — the other patrons eating that night certainly seemed to think so. Chuck liked it, though. Chuck had _missed_ it.

Certain things just seemed so natural and uncomplicated with Raleigh.

Like the way Raleigh kissed Chuck once they got back, pinning him against the wall inside the lift and making his blood hum from pleasure. Or how Chuck couldn't seem to let go of Raleigh, even for a second, making it unnecessarily difficult to navigate their way back to Chuck's flat. Or, for that matter, how they didn't end up doing anything but sleep that night, in a haphazard tangle of limbs on Chuck's bed, with Max curled up at their feet.

It wasn't without its snags, but everything seemed to click into place within the next couple of days — as if they had never even had that two month stint in their relationship. It had an effortless quality to it that almost felt surreal, and as time passed — hours, days, and weeks — it felt as good as it had when Chuck had first started falling in love.

The difference of course being the amount of kissing and sex they indulged in.

Chuck even made sure to be nice to Mako when he met her, not quite apologising but at least attempting to make up for how poorly he had treated her. Yancy turned out to be just as genuine as Chuck had expected him to be, if less boring — the sheer amount of embarrassing stories he was willing to gleefully share about Raleigh was fucking awesome. Chuck quite liked the older Becket once he got to know him.

All of it came together so beautifully that Chuck almost feared he was making it all up. They argued and got angry at each other, sure, but it was still _good_. No one could possibly be this lucky — least of all _him_. Furious, nasty, and egotistical Chuck.

The way Raleigh smiled at him in the mornings said otherwise. And the fact that Raleigh bought a doggy bed for Max to put in his own flat, so that both of them could stay the night, made Chuck's heart squeeze from happiness. And the first time he woke to the feeling of Raleigh reverently running his lips and fingers along Chuck's bare skin, lost in his own little world and looking so incredibly high on Chuck's mere presence, Chuck knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that he was hooked for life.

It wasn't just the fact that Raleigh was his to kiss and worship — it was all the little things.

Like the way Raleigh's longer hair felt when Chuck ran his fingers through it. How Raleigh doted on Max like he was the most precious dog in the entire world. Or the way Chuck always made sure to curl up close and share his warmth when Raleigh crawled into bed after one of his late shift, his skin cold to the touch but still pliant under Chuck's hands. 

It was in how Mako smiled in approval when she saw how easily Chuck could make Raleigh laugh. Or how Yancy always grinned knowingly whenever he met Chuck, because he knew that Chuck was the one who made his little brother so happy. 

It was in the way Raleigh smelled right there at the junction between his shoulder and neck, where Chuck loved to bury his face at every chance he got. It was in the way the sun made Raleigh shimmer in gold in the mornings, when he gave Chuck agonizingly slow and breathtaking blowjobs. It was in the way Raleigh trembled and moaned underneath him — completely enthralled and maybe a little helpless — when Chuck rode him until both of them forgot how to breathe. 

It was even in the way they argued, snapping insults at each other, only to apologise a couple of hours later. Or how Raleigh still couldn't fucking tone down his enthusiasm in the mornings, and Chuck woke Raleigh with the clatter of his laptop keys some nights. 

And maybe, just a tiny bit, it was in how Raleigh didn't shy away from meeting Chuck's dad, and spent the entire evening being flawlessly polite and unmistakably proud that he got to be there in the first place. 

But more than anything, it was the way Raleigh made Chuck feel. He hadn't even known that this kind of happiness existed. He hadn't thought that he would ever get to share his days with someone as loving and caring as Raleigh — and that he would find himself being equally considerate in turn. 

He hadn't thought that he would ever reach a point in his life where he would consider the height of the day to be when he could snuggle up with Raleigh on the couch. He didn't think that he would appreciate holding hands in public as much as he did, if only because Raleigh couldn't seem to stop rubbing patterns over Chuck's knuckles with his thumb. And he definitely hadn't thought that he would ever become so addicted to the feel of someone's skin, to the point that he became an expert on sliding his hands in under Raleigh's lumpy jumpers, just to feel the heat of him against his palms. 

Chuck had never thought he'd get to have something like this — something so pure and perfect, even if it wasn't without its flaws. And when he told Raleigh as much, possibly without really meaning to, Raleigh smiled, gave him a soft, lingering kiss, and said that he better make sure to treasure it then, now that he did. 

In a way it surprised Chuck that it would be that simple, but at the same time it made a lot of sense — like many of the things Raleigh said. 

So Chuck smiled back, pulled Raleigh in for another kiss, and replied that he would. Because there wasn't a single part of Chuck that wanted to lose what he had. He was far too happy to give it up. 

It was like finally finding his place in the world, and the fact that it was with Raleigh, well, Chuck was certainly not complaining about _that_. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> My beta, [CarpeDentum](http://archiveofourown.org/users/CarpeDentum), spent the majority of her time reading this cooing over how adorable they are. I have totally made her love Chuck a lot more than she usually would. I regret nothing.
> 
> I have a [Tumblr](http://amethystinawrites.tumblr.com/) for those who are interested, where I occassionally moan about my fanfic writing and how I fail at it. And, once again, the art is made by me and can be found [HERE](http://lienwyn.tumblr.com/post/105102932621/illustrations-for-the-chaleigh-one-shot-love-angle).
> 
> I don't know for sure when I'll be able to write another Pacific Rim fanfic, but it will happen sometime in the future. I love the characters far, far too much to stop. So maybe I'll see you then!


End file.
